Marriage and Me

If you come to Ghana long enough, you'll realize how important the idea of marriage is here. And for a number of reasons. First of all, Ghanaians tend to be very religious people and they take marriage seriously. I'm not exactly sure how the divisions go, but the main religions are Christian and Muslim. Also, ideas of marriage are split down the middle. Again, I'm not sure on the proportions to any of this, but many Ghanaians believe in and practice polygamy.

Some of this rubbed off on me. To tell you the truth, since my arrival into this beautifully wonderful country, I've acquired 6 wives. True story. When I go out with any of my girlfriends, it's inevitable that some man somewhere will take an interest in her and start to talk to her. Or police men and border guards will jokingly say to me, "You have two women with you - you should share one with me." To all of these men I have the same reply, "SIR! This is my wife you are speaking to!" as if I'm completely insulted. The funny part about this is that it actually works. The man, whether a random guy or a machine gun-totting muscle-bound law enforcer, will laugh and apologize and let us on our way. The advantage of this polygamy thing is that it doesn't matter how many women are with me - I could say (and I do) that all the women I'm with are my wives and it still works!

I think the best part about all this is that the girls think it's chivalrous of me to offer this service. They don't realize that I only do it in hopes that one day they'll forget that we're only pretending and I can enjoy my rights as a husband. Not really.

The other night at Kokrobite, a beach I frequent, I watched as a girl got hounded by one of the locals. This is extremely typical and 99% the guys are only playfully flirting, whether the girls are interested or not. However, when they are not, it's a little painful to watch - Ghanaian men can be very persistent and don't register defeat very well. I thought about approaching her, offering to her my services as a stand-in husband for the evening, you know, just as a sort of sweet guy thing to do. But I was too sober to pull it off. The thing is, it would have worked. If I was convinced that this girl wasn't enjoy this guy's company, I could have easily walked up to them and act like her husband, and the intruder would have left immediately, leaving me to win the heart of the damsel.

I don't even need a ring. Or six of them.